you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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