Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
