Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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