If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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