Duck Duck Cougar?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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