I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
