Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
