On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize
