I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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