I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
