If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I would fuck him just for his dog
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
