My liver just broke up with me...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Don't tell me you're on acid again
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
