Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
