I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
