Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
