I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
