i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
