just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
