I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
