I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
