We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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