I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
