idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
