The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
