I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
