wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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