Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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