Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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