my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
babies were throwing up all over the place
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
