Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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