I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
