y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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