I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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