you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
