She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I didn't notice because vodka
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Randomize
