I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
