Sry I called you an 8
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
