"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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