and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
false alarm, still single
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
