Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
