Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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