It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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