he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
