Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
