They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
