yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
