Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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