Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
