Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
