someone threw a dead crab at me
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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