Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
